God Bought A Computer

God bought a computer,
plugged it in, and sat
in front of the glowing screen
till it was way past his bedtime.

He liked to read The New Yorker and
The Atlantic. He also followed some
pretty famous people on Twitter.

"Awesome!" said God
as he read
all their stories.
He found people
so interesting.

He even set up a Facebook account,
but was not too impressed
with all the theology.

God liked music 
so he opened 
a Spotify account.

He was not really into
Hillsong or Bethel,
(not as much as people
thought he would be),
he preferred the harp
and the odd spot of country
(to the surprise of many).

When he was feeling extra peaceful
sometimes he played ambient music
at full volume that some of the stars
shook (this annoyed a few of
the more holy angels, but they
eventually got over God's
New Age tendencies).

In his free time God
liked to play games,
especially Minecraft.
"Cool," said God, "I'm good
at world building."

He liked to whoosh past the trees
and mountains and pigs and cows.
"I can fly," he cried.
He felt invincible,
forgetting for a moment
that he was,
in fact, invincible.

God once googled 'lighthouses for sale'.
He'd always wanted to live by the ocean,
(he loved feeding seagulls and getting
sand between his enormous toes).
Ah, but lighthouses were far more expensive than
he first realised, so he decided
to make one in Minecraft.

One day (when no one was watching)
God googled 'nice tattoos';
he thought he would get
a flower, or a dove, 
or spell out the letters
P. E. A. C. E. on his fingers.

"It's sad, people always think
I'm a little cranky."
He just wished he'd
not gotten such a bad rap
over all the years.

God kept wondering if it had
anything to do with 
all the theology
he'd read on Facebook.

So he closed his account,
sold his computer, and went and
sat under an oak tree
and listened to the birds.

He felt at peace again.
(but he still thought about
one of those nice tattoos.)
"It's a subtle statement," he
kept on telling himself.

"People always misunderstand me—
it's either a world peace tattoo or
a new crab nebula. Hmm."

So he decided to do both.
© Stephen Roberts

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